Tag Archives: tamil

Three Guys in the Desert….

Below is a column I started in December 2015. A year ago, the thought had already entered my mind, “What if Donald actually gets elected president?” I haven’t changed the original text but will denote where it ended. 

Three guys in the desert; an Italian, a Jew, and a……………

No, I am not to tell you an old, bad, and politically incorrect joke.

Recently I was on my annual tour of London’s finest Pubs and Dining Establishments. Mainly, I was there to catch up with friends whom I now live an ocean away from.

There’s always lots of interesting talk. This time some of the conversation was different, and far more personal than it usually is.

This was especially true of conversations with two of my oldest and closest friends. Call us three guys in London; a Jew, a Tamil, and a Muslim.

Each of us has the immense good fortune of being educated, affluent, and a resident of one of the “great” 21st Century Liberal Democracies.

We each are native born to the nations our ancestors fled to and highly assimilated. I would go as far as to say that the religions/ethnicities described above are not much more than cultural descriptors to us. We are not actively religious, nor do we believe that ones religion or ethnicity is important although we are acutely aware that many people do not share that view.

That being said, none of us feel that where we come from hurts us in anyway. Heck, my rabbinical circumcision made me the member of what appeared to be the majority group in finance.

As it turns out two of us have married outside our faiths. I am happy to say that each of us is the proud father of two children. And this is where our conversations ultimately focused. Because if we are each not religious, our children are barely aware that they have a religion. Our children are completely assimilated. As a Jew, I know the history of what has happened when we have assimilated in the past. I also know that the world moves much more quikcly than ever before.

Recently the ascension of the “Donald” in Republican presidential field has made me a bit queasy. Its not that I am afraid of his being president, the math tells me that he wont be, but rather the fact that he is giving voice to many things that are better left unsaid.

So whether its Hillary’s bathroom habits, his budding bromance with Putin, his banning immigration and deporting Muslims, or his deep foreign policy skills, it all feels a bit Fascist and familiar to me. What scares me is that now that some of our public taboos have been broken, the next time a public figure utters the same things we’ll be a bit less shocked, and so on.

Also, it is clear that the “Donald” is not the only person with these views. I know that times are tough, people are being displaced in many ways and don’t see the way forward. It is easy for a politician to leverage these fears into political gain. But where does it lead.

So my daughters don’t see themselves as Jewish although they do understand


November 14, 2016

 So maybe I was paranoid, or maybe I felt that Brexit and Trump were coming. If I had, I would have made a bunch of money on that double.

What I was getting at a year ago is that the three of us and our families live in a bubble of highly educated, affluent, and urbane people who seemingly had put the tribalism, ignorance, and hatreds of the past behind them.

The past six months has challenged if not yet shattered our perceptions. Sure, we are still safe in our bubbles but let’s just say we have a sense of heightened awareness. Here’s why.

It’s not about me. I know who I am, where I come from and all of the history as do my friends. It’s about our children. My daughters don’t really identify with my religion. They are thankfully unaware of the fact that history tells ME that it is possible that they could become endangered and quickly. My London friends are aware of the same thing.

So what can we do about this? While none of wants to scare our children or limit them, we must say something. In my mind there’s three things that we all need to do.

First, make sure to explain to your children who they are, where they come from, and their history. Tell them that their ancestors history need not define them but that because they are not members of the majority group that they must always be vigilant and aware of events occurring around them and that they must be ready to act to protect themselves.

Second, tell them to be proud of who they are and to stand up for themselves. Let them know that bullies only thrive when they are allowed to run unchallenged. Hear something that sounds wrong? Confront it, bring it to the attention of others.

Third and perhaps this is the most important. We must be better than those who discriminate! Bullying of others is bullying of us! Those of us who are not part of the dominant group must not be thankful when someone else is being attacked in anyway for who they are.

So last Thursday, I broached the topic with my 15 year old daughter. She was extremely upset that Hillary had lost and what that meant for women both now and for the future. My daughter has a well-tuned sense of indignance and knows her history pretty well. The one thing she isn’t consciously aware of is the fact that if things go wrong she is a Jew. At first she was frustrated with me for not realizing that “being a woman is worse”. At one point I told her that there are many ways in which women are mistreated but that it was unlikely that she would need to flee her own country because she is a woman.

We ultimately talked about the need for awareness without fear, the need for kindness without being a pushover, the need to lead your life as a citizen of the world without limits all the while knowing that it could change.

I’m glad to have had the conversation but so sad that I had to have it. Next up, my younger daughter.

I’ll be off to London in a few weeks, I wonder what my friends have been thinking/talking about.

I wonder, how many of you have had the same thoughts? Are you doing anything?